Everyone’s been talking about the #tenyearchallenge… and I wanted to share the above, as I stumbled upon these frames while tidying up tonight.
The top one was taken in 2007, at a friend’s farewell at Stanton Social. The funny thing is, back then the lower east side seemed so foreign to me, as we lived all the way on the upper east side. To think! For the past eight years we’ve staked our claim down in the LES.
The bottom was taken in November of last year, at a friend’s wedding in Tulum. My first reaction is that we both look weathered, older.. but a voice inevitably pops up and says “we were so young!”
Indeed we were, and we didn’t even realize it at the time. 2007 was the year we had finally settled in Manhattan, I had just started my new job and we were engaged. It was a rather tumultuous year to be honest, it wasn’t my favorite one… we had fought a lot and nearly broke off our engagement. I chalk some of that to the pressures of me starting a new job, us buying our first place together, and just plain old pre-wedding jitters. There could have been other issues too, lord knows – life can be so complex at times.
Fast forward some eleven, almost twelve years later (it is 2019 now after all), and here we are… with two kids in tow, a family of four. We’ve upgraded from a one bedroom on the upper east side to a three bedroom on the lower east side, and we’ve stopped wondering about wedding expenses and start worrying about private school tuition. We’ve weathered so many storms together, shed many tears and laughter, and most importantly, there is this implicit understanding and love that I believe serves as the very rock and foundation for our union and commitment.
It’s funny, sometimes I wonder what the formula to a perfect marriage is. I don’t think it exists really. We’ve devoted, of course – to our family, each other, our children, our careers and livelihood – but the ultimate glue is our trust in each other. I trust that the man I married and the one I go to sleep with every night is going to have my best interest at heart and always be there on the other line when I need him the most, I trust that he will be the best husband and father and human that he could be, and I have faith and confidence in him succeeding in this fundamental way. Everything else is just window dressing if you ask me.
But is this tacit trust and understanding enough to withstand the longevity test? Well – only time will tell! So far so good… and we are literally ten years into our marriage if you can believe that (I can hardly believe it myself -- I still remember our wedding day like it was yesterday).
One thing I do miss, however, is the art of writing. We chat, we e-mail, but it’s never romantic or thoughtful anymore… not the way it used to be when you can literally compile a man’s letters to his wife (and vice versa) and publish a book of beautiful sonnets and verses that will withhold the test of time. It just doesn’t happen anymore. Perhaps that is something we could start doing for each other, just writing a note every once in a while, something tangible that we can both hold and cherish, that can withstand the test of time.
Related Features:
